Crappy Thanksgiving

I'm not very familiar with the real story of Thanksgiving.  But I am familiar with human beings' tendency to romanticize holidays and pretty much all historical events into something more G-rated and marketable.  Much like Hollywood, R-rated movies where the hero is too much of a jerk to stand don't gross as much in the box office as one would hope.

So, not particularly sure that Thanksgiving was full of crap, I took a shot in the dark that it was and came up with this blog post.  Afterall, Easter doesn't have squat to do with hiding eggs in the back yard, Christmas trees and some fat guy in a red suit are a rather quizzical addition to the birth of Christ, and no one even knows what St. Patrick's day is about anyway; it's just an excuse to get drunk.  So, what are the chances that Thanksgiving has nothing to do with Indians and Pilgrams getting together and breaking bread?  I didn't know how right I was.

It turns out that in 1637, a bunch of Natives (the Pequots) were approaching their annual Green Corn Festival (our modern day Thanksgiving).  On this blessed day, early that morning, some English and Dutch mercenaries awoke the sleeping Indians from their slumber and asked them to come out.  They had something they wanted to show them.  What did they want to show them?  Apparently their guns, because "those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive."

And to commemorate this horrendous loss of lives the governor of the Massachusetts Bay declared a "Day of Thanksgiving" for all the people they killed.  Goldmine.  Right?  But save your applause until the end.  For after a second raid against the Pequots by some mercenaries from Stamford, a SECOND day of celebration was declared.  How did they celebrate?  Turkey?  Fireworks?  Ten gun salute?  No, they played soccer with the severed heads of slain Native Americans.  //Way to keep it classy, Connecticut!//

Look, I'm not here to take a whiz all over somebody's Thanksgiving Day parade //though I do have nightmares about that Snoopy balloon christening open-mouthed spectators with an unexpected shower of the salty, yellow variety//.  I am here to enlighten those who may not know the truth, which is -- ok -- in essence taking a whiz all over people's Thanksgiving Day parade.

But look, at least you can stop wondering why every time you wish that Native American guy "Happy Thanksgiving" he gives you the bird //and I ain't talking turkey//.  But who are we kidding?  Since we so wisely killed off all the Natives in order to decrease the likelihood socially awkward situations such as these, the chances that any of us have a Native American friend is slim to none anyway.

Well, anyway, as the Pequots would say,  "Happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy your turkey... jerk!"


http://www.manataka.org/page269.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-greener/the-true-story-of-thanksg_b_788436.html

Sarah Palin's New Job: Free Verse

Sarah Palin has a new job.

What's her job?

Fox News Commentator.

That's right.

What will she do?

She'll give her opinion on stuff...

Her professional opinion.

What makes her a professional?

She governed fifteen someodd people in Alaska and a couple a caribou.

But it was too much work ... so she quit.

Then she accused Barack Obama of killing your grandmother and her grandkid.

She got away with it.

She has a myspace page too.

Are we still talking about qualifications?

Sarah Palin got a new job.

What's her job?

I don't know.

Etta James Needs To Grow Up

What kind of bull crap is this? Etta James is getting all huffy with little or no logical reason behind her huffiness in reference to Beyonce Knowles. Aparrently, Etta wasn't to happy with Beyonce's protrayal of her in Cadillac Records. I didn't see the movie but I can see no reason for Etta being upset with Beyonce's interpretation unless Beyonce protrayed her as a whiney bitch or something. Well,how did Etta respond? By acting like a whiney bitch of course.

Now she's all pisseed off because Beyonce sang "her" song , "At Last" at the inaugaral ball, a song which isn't really her song since she didn't write it nor does she own the rights to it. No, she's just stupid with anger that Etta. So angry and stupid that she said the following:

"You know that woman he had singing for him, singing my song, she's going to get her a-- whipped," Etta said this to a thunderous applause.

I'm not sure who these people were who were applauding this thinly vieled phsyical threat, but I'm pretty sure they were dumb asses.

I found this out from a blogger through yahoo who thinks Etta James is in the right. Yes, someone her age should be more mature in matter such as this, says the blogger, but it's just disgraceful to him that the great Etta James did not sing at the inaugeration ball.

Well, let me tell you a little something about me. I'm not too big on tradition. So I could give two squats about who sings at the inaugaration ball. Etta James, Rick James, Lebron James. I don't care. None of them are exactly strikingly pivotal figures in black history to me. And one of them is dead. Beyonce is the Barack of female singers. A black person who has had great success... OK, so I don't know exactly how she's the Barack of female singers, but I do know that Etta James is full of crap. This is almost as stupid as Ice T. fueding with Solja Boy. (Don't ask me for the correct spellings; I hate them both.)

Cautiously, optimistically pessimistic

So far, with a few exceptions, Obama is having an impressive start to his pre-presidency period. Never (people are saying) has there been a faster start and a cleaner handing over of the baton than this one. But then again, this is the biggest mess any President has ever inherited since the Great Depression, so it is refreshing that Obama has a sense of urgency in approaching the Presidency.

One of the United States downfalls when it comes to the President has always been term limits. Many Presidents will take an entire term to even learn the ropes of the Presidency and by that time, their approval rating isn't all that good. Therefore, I applaud Obama for his seriousness in a preparing for the toughest job in the world. McCain and Bush should also be applauded. McCain for his quick and graceful concession and Bush for his unprecedented cooperation in handing over the reigns of this country.

Randomness and Voting

Wow. It's been a month. I've been lazy... Oh, screw you. Who are you to judge me? But let's see? What new news do we have? I don't think there's anything out of the ordinary except the fact that we elected a new PRESIDENT! The first black president to be exact. And there's just so many things I want to speak on and just get off my chest about this monumental event.

First of all, this is a victory for America. The fact that we can indeed elect a black president despite many people's skepticism of our growth, is a testament to the fact that things are indeed getting a little better as far as race relations are concerned. Also, the global ramifications of this event just blew my mind. People overseas basically hate us... No, I wouldn't say hate. OK, hate. They hate us because they see us as racist bullies that like to pick on innocent little countries with a different skin color from ours.

I remember the first time I voted. I wasn't going to vote. But I was told I'd better and then I was told to vote straight democrat. In a private protest of sorts, I randomly voted for democrats and republicans, but I did vote for Gore as all black people are supposed to. Well, this time I decided to do an across the board referendum against the two party system and voted for whoever I felt like.

I thought deeply about the Presidential candidate and my inner monologue couldn't help but think about this: When a conservative and a liberal get into an argument over the war and which president to pick, the liberal may say, "...Obama, because he'll send our troops home faster, thereby decrease American casualties." To which the conservative responds "yes, but what about the fetuses that Obama would have aborted? Those are lives too." At this point, I'm thinking, "Good points! I don't want more of our troops to die in some pointless war which isn't really a war because technically, the war was over two years ago but it wasn't really over, well I guess it took a brief five minute intermission and recommenced and at the same time, I don't want Obama randomly stabbing fetuses just so Mary Jane doesn't have to cancel her Saturday night romps at club hush that usually end with her ending up drunk in a stranger's bed and pregnant again only to have to abort that fetus too so she can make it to the next outing (it's a viscious cycle)."

Peole might scorn me for this vote, but what other choice did I have? No matter who I voted for, it would have ended up being a wasted vote. If I voted for Obama, my vote would have in effect been null in void since Texas is a solidly Republican state that McCain was a sure win to carry. If I voted for McCain... well we know how that story ended. Why not vote for the candidate whose views are closest to mine? And that was Ron Paul. Now, upon further examination of his beliefs, I may find that he's a nutcase and I would have been voting the anti-christ into the White House. I can live with that.

That being said, I wish President Barack Hussein Obama the best in all of his endeavors. (And no, I didn't include the Hussein just to piss him off and make him seem more terroristy -- like Palin was doing).

The World Is Coming to An End.

I usually try to keep a light tone about things, but each day the future of the U.S. is looking bleaker and bleaker. And the news is moving too fast for me to keep up with. First, this Sarah Palin, character bursts onto the scene in the most transparent political move in the history of politics and there's so many things going through my mind on that, I can't even finish a post on her.

Second we find out she's a nincompoop (wow, I've never spelled that word before and got it right on the first go. No red line. Yay!) and -- oh, yeah -- McCain's still an old fart. The potential for her being President would be at best inspiring and at worst funny if McCain hadn't already come down with every form of cancer known to mankind. Add that into the mix and it's downright scary. And I'm hard to scare; I never jump at horror movies. But the horror movie below simply sent chills down my spine:



The message at the end weakens the power of this video a bit, but I think the danger is clear and should be at least understood from both sides of the political spectrum. This pick for a Vice Presidential candidate is reckless on McCain's part especially considering his record-setting battle with diseases (OK, maybe not record-setting). Maybe I'm being short-sighted here, but I just don't see it. How can this man (who championed the experience factor and made no bones about it and is still trying to fault Obama for his lack thereof) all of a sudden pick a woman with so LITTLE experience?

We are at war; we are in a financial crisis; the United States is in worst shape than I have ever seen in my lifetime and he chose this woman and for what purpose? To energize the republican base? To win the "Hillary" vote?

But there's no need to fear. Americans (smart Americans) to the rescue. They have responded. I don't know if it's the financial crisis or Sarah Palin or a combination of both, but they have responded by deciding they will vote for Obama.

But never fear. Americans (smart Americans) to the rescue. The tide has turned. And McCain (who I believe once led in the polls) began to trail a little after Palin started to talk. And then as the Dow dropped so did McCain's support and as it now stands, Obama has roughly 52% of the vote and could win in a landslide victory at this rate with 350+ electoral votes (only needing 270).

But I honestly want someone who disagrees with this observation of McCain being reckless to rationally tell me why I should vote for him now. In my book, once he chose Palin as V.P., all bets were off. I truly want someone to convince me that she was not indeed a piss poor decision.

More on the Debate

An interesting article on Yahoo! that basically declares Obama as a slam-dunk winner....

I guess some things never change. Obama's still getting A's and McCain's still getting C's.